PANIC~~~

It’s been one week since I began peeling back the layers of my fear of my written word. Even though I have blogged 4 times doesn’t mean that I am “over and done” with the fear. I still run each thought, word, sentence, punctuation…through my mind.

I even posted my GRIT blog after having saved it, edited, saved, edited, saved, edited (yes, that many times), and then even posted it on the day showing when I began typing and not the actual date I completed it. WHOA!!! Talk about going into panic mode. Here my post was added as 10/29 when it was actually 11/1.

My heart started racing not knowing what to do. Here I thought I was doing OK by finally finishing my thoughts only to find out that it was placed “out of order” according to my “rules”. I began to wonder what people would think. I’m such a freak when it comes to order on particular things…this being one. I started to even delete everything so no one would ever have a chance to view this posting or my blogspot. I believe I checked every tab within blogspot to see what to do…and did it again several times. I quit, logged off, left the computer room only to return within 10 minutes still in panic mode.

This is my life at times when I let even the small things spiral me out of control. I lose mind function only to become more obsessive over the matter. How does one let things just “roll off” and let things be?